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積極傾聽:不是提供答案,而是提供一個安全的空間

Active Listening: our goal isn't to provide answers, but to provide a safe space.



在快節奏的現代生活中,我們常常急於表達自己的觀點,卻忘了溝通最重要的一環:傾聽。真正的傾聽,不僅僅是用耳朵接收聲音,更是用全身心去理解對方的感受與需求。這是一種需要練習的「藝術」,它要求我們暫時放下自己的判斷,專注於當下,為對方創造一個安全且被理解的空間。


In our fast-paced modern lives, we are often too quick to express our own opinions and forget a crucial part of communication: listening. True listening is more than just hearing sounds; it's about using your whole self to understand another person's feelings and needs. This is an "art" that requires practice. It asks us to temporarily set aside our judgments, focus on the present, and create a safe, understanding space for the other person.


案例分享:不急著給予建議的智慧

Case Study: The Wisdom of Not Rushing to Give Advice


一位男士下班回家,抱怨他的主管要求過高。他的太太沒有立刻插話或給予「你應該換工作」之類的建議,而是放下手中的書,轉身面向他,身體語言傳達出全神貫注的態度。


A husband came home from work and complained about his boss's excessive demands. Instead of immediately interrupting or suggesting "you should find a new job," his wife put down her book and turned to face him, her body language showing complete attention.


當先生抱怨完畢,太太沒有說「你應該...」,而是溫柔地回應:「我聽出來你對主管臨時更改計畫感到非常沮喪,這讓你感覺到自己的努力被忽視了,對嗎?」


After he had finished complaining, she didn't say, "You should...," but instead responded gently: "I hear that you're really frustrated with your boss for changing plans at the last minute, and it feels like your hard work is being ignored, right?"


這種專注的、非評判的聆聽,讓先生感到自己的情緒被看見、被理解,他的壓力與沮喪也隨之緩解了許多。這段對話的關鍵在於反映與確認,它能讓說話者知道,他們的聲音真的被聽見了。


This focused, non-judgmental listening allowed him to feel seen and understood. His stress and frustration were significantly eased. The key to this conversation was reflecting and confirming, which reassures the speaker that their voice has truly been heard.


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案例背後的溝通技巧解析

Analysis of the Communication Skills Behind the Case


這個看似簡單的互動,實則蘊含了多個重要的溝通技巧:

This seemingly simple interaction is rich with several important communication techniques:


  1. 非語言的專注: 太太放下手中的書、轉身面向先生的行為,傳達了「你很重要,我正在專心聽你說」的訊息。這種肢體語言的投入,是建立信任、讓對方願意敞開心扉的第一步。


    Non-verbal Attentiveness: The wife putting down her book and turning to face her husband sent a clear message: "You are important, and I am listening intently." This kind of physical engagement is the first step in building trust and encouraging the other person to open up.


  2. 區分「情緒」與「問題」: 我們在抱怨時,很多時候並不是真的需要一個解決方案,而是需要一個宣洩的出口。這時,對方最需要的不是建議,而是被接納與同理。這位太太沒有試圖解決「主管」這個問題,而是專注於先生「沮喪」的情緒。


    Differentiating "Emotions" from "Problems": When we complain, many times we don't actually need a solution; we need an outlet to vent. In these moments, what the person needs most is acceptance and empathy, not advice. The wife didn't try to solve the "boss problem" but focused instead on her husband's "frustration."


  3. 反映式聆聽 : 太太的回應是典型的反映式聆聽,她將先生所說的內容重新組織,並用自己的話語重述一次。這不僅能確認自己是否正確理解,也讓對方感受到「我的話被好好聽進去了」。這比單純的「嗯」或「我知道了」更能給予實質性的支持。


    Reflective Listening: The wife's response is a classic example of reflective listening. She rephrased what her husband said in her own words. This not only confirms her understanding but also makes the speaker feel, "my words were truly heard." This provides more substantive support than a simple "uh-huh" or "I know."


記住,當我們在傾聽時,我們的目標不是提供答案,而是提供一個安全的空間。 許多時候,一個單純、非評判的聆聽,本身就是最好的「解決方案」。當情緒得到抒發與理解,許多問題反而能迎刃而解。


Remember, when we listen, our goal isn't to provide answers, but to provide a safe space. Often, a simple, non-judgmental listening ear is the best "solution." When emotions are vented and understood, many problems can resolve themselves.


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